~ Everyday life on the farm ~

Never a dull moment...

2010-10-09T22:07:00.000-05:00

Soooo here's the scoop.... Last week a neighbor of ours that has a bordering pasture came and asked if we had seen an Elk... He's raising them and they are in rut and from what he said they got to fighting, broke a heavy duty gate and 4 of the 9 bucks went walk about. They managed to get 3 back in but Elliot (that's what I've named him...) just kept right on truckin'.

We were warned if we see him CALL ASAP, they would charge (don't know if that's true... our neighbors are kinda flighty...) anyway for the past week every rustle I was picturing an emerging Elk..., yet none came forth.

Fast forward to this morning at the crack of after dawn... being more of an afternoon kinda person I thought I was seeing things when I looked up from feeding the babies, and there in all of his glory, head alert, scanning the pasture... he was only a 100 feet or less from the big barn. Oh how I wished I would have had my camera... Anyway by the time I came to my senses I called JH only to be told it was his bother... anyway he called him and in what seemed FOREVER (really only 10 minutes or less) MH comes in the drive.

I will end it there... and only say they were not going to dart it as we once thought and why do we have to live so close to a butcher shop... and thankfully Elliot manged to hoof it 2 miles in those 15 minutes. I did managed to get 2 pics with my phone... now if I only knew how to post them to FB or here... that would be so awesome!!!!!! I will never forget today... it's been the highlight of my year...

Can I have an Elk for Christmas? :) Just like the one down at MH's a real live Elk for my very own, OH what wonderful things we could do...

PS. The goats freaked OUT when he came sauntering up towards the barn... that was kinda funny...

It's always good...

2010-10-07T07:42:00.000-05:00

When you wake up and you realize it was just a dream and not real life... This AM was one of those days. I'm so glad that the cows weren't out, being chased by a pack of dogs, and that UL didn't have to shoot the dogs... I remember I asked...

On the farm front... 3 new babies... 2 heifers and a bull. Merriweather the little bull not the perkiest of calves at the moment. Hopefully this AM will find him more hydrated... I wish I would have remembered to give him the 8way blackleg at 2 days old... oh well... Little Mermaid is getting hers this AM.

We have 3 goats that are going to kid hopefully sooner than later... hey at least we are now one day closer to "kids".

The bush hogging is almost a wrap... hoping to finish up this week and start on spreading the green composted gold next week.

Right now just keeping ones mind off of the current situation, praising and praying, is all we can do. I want to thank all of you who have been and will continue to pray for us. It's been a hard 3 years... We are all ready for some good times...

wow

2010-10-03T18:31:00.000-05:00

Has is really been almost a month? wow...

A lot has gone on... not much I want to relive though...

On a good note we've been having a few calves along, our milk is coming up on the new feed we are getting (this is making me a much happier person), we got rid of all but one of our bucklings (happy dance), and it's fall and time for apples and caramel popcorn...

Hermine is here...

2010-09-09T07:57:00.000-05:00

I don't know when the rain began, but it's dripping out and there are small rivers following down the yard. Sigh of sighs... I just detest doing chores in the rain. Even more so when it's winter... so for the moment I can be glad that it's semi warm out and no freezing, blowing winds, sleet, or snow... yes I can be thankful for the great and small things.

Like getting the tractor away from playful kids (goatie of course) who LOVE to chew the wires off the lights, climb and stand in the set so they can turn the key on and run down the battery, or as my sweet Treasures does... climb up to stand on the fender and play with the wires that the others have chewed to bits...

And then there is this creature... wild. It shouldbe REAL fun to break her to the barn in a few years. She will stand a good 20 feet from you. And NO I didn't beat her or anything... she just got left on her mummy to long... like 6 weeks... sigh... this summer has just been a doozy. And to top it off with Roycelynn, I think she's becoming a goat. Seriously people... she is acting just like a goat! All of the babies are...*rolling eyes*, I'll have the first Jersey goats in the country I guess. I wish they would influence the goats as much as the goats seem to influence them.

Tomorrow's post... Apps for your phone... or as my Uncle says... I need a life...

Until tomorrow...

Pride goeth before a flat...

2010-09-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

Ya know there are just days when all is going well for the most part, rocky start of a morning, rain off and on, mom and I got an errand ran.

And then... all I wanted to do this evening was to go to wally world, buy a piece of poster board, come home, work on a project, watch a little TV, make some popcorn... enjoy life. HA! It went more like... ding ding ding... check tire pressure, ding ding ding... grrrrrr. So I made it to a local hotel, called home since I didn't take my cell... after all who would need one just 4 miles from... ME! that's who... ARGH! The girl at the front was very sweet, and asked if I had a spare, I did but I didn't know how to get it off and I just wasn't up to changing a flat, in the dark and on a incline. So she piped up and said... We've got lots of construction guys staying I'll call one of them... NO said I... Yes... there was some pride involved... maybe a lot... I don't know.

So I in turn called my aunt and uncle... did they answer their phone? NO... called home... and my grandmother came and picked me up and then we headed over to AL and UL. Where there was a discussion, if you could call it that on the size of a twin flat sheet... that led to several twin sheets being pulled out and measured. It was a hoot... UL and I were Switzerland... blessedly neutral.

Love this Commercial!

2010-09-04T20:43:00.001-05:00

Weirdness

2010-09-04T07:19:00.000-05:00

The last two mornings waking up has been odd. Yesterday, I was awakened by having hiccups in my sleep... NEVER happened before... so there was no going back to sleep yesterday. This morning at 4 I woke up coughing for no reason, and there is still a nagging tickle. I did manage to get back to sleep, right before I woke up. :-/

The rain lasted for two days. :) yeah!!! It's really greened up, the yard isn't crunchy, the dust and pollen have been beat down, the creeks have been cleaned out and are flowing again, and I'm sure the pond is back up to almost normal. I've heard that places to the south of here got an amazing 16" over those two days... Thankfully we weren't in the path of those down pours.

And so that's all that has been going on around here, I need to get going on the 14 acres and get it all nice and clipped for fall... what a sad thought. But with the night temp we had last night 49! It won't be long.

Moisture...

2010-09-01T07:19:00.000-05:00

It's raining... can you believe it! Finally RAIN... lightening, thunder, and much needed MOISTURE! It's been so dry here that the weeds are dieing, tree's leaves are turning and falling off... Everything is just so dry and dusty... at least the heat hasn't been as bad... just another sign that winter is marching to meet us.

You see I'm NOT looking forward to it... winter that is. I never do... never will... Maybe we should move to New Mexico or something. Nah... but it's a thought isn't it.

Busy busy busy and canning recipe

2010-08-31T07:26:00.000-05:00

So I've been kinda busy here... you know... canning, chores, errands, blah blah blah... and then some fun stuff like sewing and doing embroidery... well I'm trying my hand at that anyway.

It's hard to believe that it's apple time again. In some ways it makes me want to just cry... I'm not ready for summer to be over with and done. sniffle and a boo hoo...

Canning Recipe

Fruit Cocktail

6 c. Peaches in large chunks (peeled of course)
3 c. Pears in large chunks (peeled)
2 c. seedless grapes
1 c. maraschino cherries, halved
2 c. water
1 1/4 c. sugar
1/4 c. honey
Fruit fresh

Mix peaches, pears, and grapes together in a stock pot. Next in a separate pan mix the water, sugar, and honey, bring to a boil. Next pour boiling mixture over fruit., bring to a boil again and cook for 5 minutes. Stir in cherries and keep on a low flame while pouring into your pint jars. Top with your lids and bands. Tighten down and your done. You can water bath them if you want. I've never had a problem though.

Also I think you could do ANY fruit combo you wanted. I've never tried it but I don't see why it wouldn't work.

What a past few days...

2010-08-24T21:11:00.000-05:00

At the moment I have a headache... ohhh the pressure. Anyway... there are just some things in life that are funny... either because your soo tired you are giddy, it's truly funny, or both.

On Saturday evening our one Mennonite neighbor... you remember the neighbor from Thanksgiving who came over??? Well this same neighbor came over and started talking to my mom. Anyway... they were sorry they had missed her "event", but they had been on vacation to N. Dakota when they had heard the news. They even brought her a cake and two frozen chickens! :) They had quite the chat. I don't know... it just struck us all funny when she came in and told us.

In two days she made the Mennonite grapevine... First it was a heart-attack, then it was a stroke, then it was... no one really knows. Shaking head... smile... sigh... I don't know... some days I just don't know what to think. And this should ease my mind but also boggles it... with the MGV (Mennonite grapevine) there can be 40 men at a fire or??? in two minutes. NOW think about how fast non gossip gossip can spread!? sigh...

H.O.H.

2010-08-21T10:41:00.000-05:00

Otherwise known as Hell on Hooves... that's the tentative name of a new heifer calf that was born over a week ago. I've never seen a calf so quick, graceful, able to leap a tall milk-barn in a single bound, as this thick haired (hopefully not a sign of the winter to come) blond beauty.

For several days we tried to catch her. Mother Clair... named after the Farside Clair, with the over sized brain who KNEW something was a miss... would always keep her little nutty darling away from us, or baby would just fly through the holding pen. But FINALLY I won! I had her! She was MINE!... This was less than thrilling when it came time to feed baby.

She was ticked... that little tail would just switch from side to side, mouth clamped down, pulling with all her little might to break the halter tying her in the barn. We tried the bottle... gurgle, spit, flop, play dead, then open one eye to see if the tall wonderful, marvelous, angelic person was still standing above her... :) So we do this a few more times... after 10 minutes or so the horns holding up the halo were beginning to show... so I march off to the barn and get the tube feeder. I'll show HER I thought. Famous last words of a soon to be bitten, bruised, hot and sweaty person.

Needless to say she was one of the worst we've ever had to tube. She flipped twice, kicked like a she devil not that I know what that's like, but it would describe what I imagine it would be like, it took two of us to get her half gallon of milk down. And she was NOT happy when we were done.

Next morning she was better, took a bottle like a semi sane baby, that night I let her loose after she took her bottle like a good girl, and this AM she is my new BFF. Wanting to have her ears and head scratched, loved, and petted, and starting to act like the other goaty calves. Yes... the goats are teaching the calves how to be a goat...

It was funny when we brought her in a tied her, Treasure... you know my sweet little goat kid... was up in the feed ally, stand above her and looking down and then up at me. I swear if she could have talked it would have been... "You know, I NEVER acted like THAT, I'm a good girl... can I have an animal cracker now?!"

do you ever

2010-08-18T05:00:00.000-05:00

Just need to zone out? If so how?... I've been awake for more than an hour now... need sleep. Can't sleep... cry yes, worry... trying not to, weep... :( , think... not a good thing... rather the over thinking of it all.

It's been an eventful past several days all...

Sunday Stills of sorts...

2010-08-15T07:25:00.000-05:00

These have came from the archives... so I won't be posting them on the SS blog. It's been a hectic past few days. Thankfully mom is getting better they are just waiting to find out the cause of the seizers she had on Thursday.

The farm is holding it's own. Things are getting done slowly but surly.

"Fire"

Have a good one!

Seriously?!

2010-08-13T10:22:00.000-05:00

While finishing up chores this morning Krissie and I were listening to the radio... weather comes on... Hot today...98 with a heat index of 108... tomorrow will be cooler... 98 with a heat index of ONLY 106.

No I'm not joking that's what the announcer said... to me when there is a heat index of 103 or above it's just plain HOT. Going from 108 to 106 is NOT time to party... when we hit 70 or below for a low (it's been like 76 or 77 for a LOW) then we'll think of having a party...

It's amazing the amount of water the animals are consuming... and where you find long black slithering creatures. EWWW ICK!!!!

Send cooler weather thoughts my way please... the heat is getting old. ON an up

this was started at 10:40 PM... it's is now 10:21 AM... mom's in the H. It's been a long night and will be a long day.

The Hot and the short of it...

2010-08-11T07:16:00.000-05:00

It's been HOT and it's going to be getting hotter today... I just may wilt. We are trying to keep the cows large and small, goats, chickens, dogs, humans as comfortable as possible. Which is nigh to impossible... watering several times a day, milking late for the cows...

As far as are concerned there isn't much we can do. It's hot and humid even with the AC going in the house... it's been 86 for the past 3 days by the 5 o'clock rolls around, which is down right miserable. One up side to all of this is... 6 qts of salsa was canned yesterday, 5 qts of blueberry freezer jam the day before (NO COOKING), and we still have our sanity... for the moment. JUST KIDDING!!!!!

Today I'm going to attempt making some more Goats milk soap. I'm thoroughly hooked on the stuff.

Oh Hughesnet

2010-08-07T07:21:00.000-05:00

I'm going to use this time to complain... WHY can't tech support people be in the country that you live? Would this really be such a big deal? That you could understand what they are saying and they could understand your point?

Case in point!!!! Our internet was down... again... called tech support... automated system... blah blah blah... are you sure there is nothing obstructing your dish such as snow or ice (it's 101 degrees out... I wish!), have your tried unplugging, waiting, and plugging the power supply back in... if not please try... this will take 15-45 seconds (every two seconds it asks... are you finished? are you finished are you finished? ARGH!!!!!!!!) FINALLY I get to talk to a real live person somewhere in the middle east... He asked... are you sure you unplugged, waited, and plugged back in... over and over and over. :-/ then it was I'll do a test... OK! Yes there is a problem... NOOOOO (I didn't say that but I really really wanted to). I was told with in 2 day someone would call and set up the appointment to fix the thing.

Well two days came and went, I called back and was not happy, needless to say neither was the guy in that far off county... Finally though the guy did manage to call... they had given him the wrong number! Thankfully he was up in the area AND got it fixed in less than 45 minutes. :) So life is back to it's normal abnormal routine.

Farm wise... it's been HOT... right now we are in a 3 day cool down before heading back into the sauna next week. Both woMAN and beasts are enjoying it.
thankfully we got a rain and I'm hoping it will get the grass growing. We won't talk about the weeds... Weeds are the devil and the devil is bad... :)

Goats seem happy being their silly selves, the calves are becoming like the goats... grrr, and I've got two problem cases with calves... this is VERY frustrating and even the vets aren't much help. SO I'm on my own...

I leave you with pictures of our pair of garden bunnies.... aren't they sweet?! :)

6.4

2010-07-31T09:55:00.000-05:00

FINALLY after weeks and weeks of having no charge on the electric fence we have a good solid reading. It's amazing how "tween" bovines can push your buttons, make you brave a creepy well house that harbors snakes, and try to only thing left to do to fix the fence. And it WORKED... I was so thrilled to get a 6.4 KV on the fence tester. I even asked mom if she had noticed if they had came up to test it out... I was waiting for the wonderful sound of a "pop" when their little noses got shocked. That may sound mean and cruel, but it's just a wee little shock and they will have learned their little lesson.

Anymore it seems people humanize all animals. Animals are animals... yes they feel pain, yes I believe they go to heaven when they die, and yes they have emotions. HOWEVER... it is not on the same line as people.

NEXT in line... I've had a break through!!!!!! Tippee... everyone remember Tippee right... the black Alpine we traded for a year and a half ago, of whom you couldn't get with in 50 ft of or she would spook and run off? Well, she finally came up and wanted to be loved!!!! I always knew she had it in her... that somewhere in that skittish soul that had been traded and sold who knows how many times in her short life, that she was needing love, affection, hugs, and animal crackers... :)

Water...

2010-07-28T07:01:00.000-05:00

We finally have water again! Ever since Saturday evening we've been having to limp along on water for just part of the day.

A pipe had rusted threw and finally burst... a dairy without water is like... well I don't know what it's like but it's not fun. At least it wasn't in the winter when it happened, so we can be thankful for some small things. Like running water, electricity, ice, freezers, refrigerators, beds, 15 year old comfy T-shirts holes and all, sewing machines...

Now if I could just get the electric fence to stay hot and keep the calves in I would be thrilled! They have just been running threw it, playing with it, sucking on it, you name it they are doing or have done it. You could scream but it would do no good. I will have to be content with the fact THAT all the bottle babies are once again in the barn where they are supposed to be.

And so with that... I leave you for the day...

The many poses of Treasure

2010-07-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

"Treasure being CUTE"

She is getting ready to take a nap...

"Treasure just chillin'"

"Treasure playing dead"

Still cute!

Later Y'all!

I heart this little goat...

I remember when...

she was this little, wrapped in a towel and on my desk.

And when she was no bigger than a 4 month old insane kitten that survived the great kitten massacre of '09.

Farm-life...

2010-07-26T07:04:00.000-05:00

It's been rough out here the past few days, weeks, months... the questions of the past few weeks run on the lines of "Have you heard anything yet?" not Hi, how are you doing? I know it must be hard but we are praying. It just makes a person want to cry some days. And we do...

How do you live like you'll always be some where when there have been people all along who only have cared about themselves, have lied, and in some cases just vanished or so it seems?

Anyway, the farm-life thus has been like a roller coaster. Ups and downs, curves and calms...

Right now I have 8 calves on the bottle, am milking 7 goats that is IF Sasha doesn't get to her mother first, and I'm getting almost 3-4 gallon a day of goat milk. I've made soap, frozen yogurt that was awful, and we've made cheese... right now I'm selling it to our neighbors for their fawns.

Just another day in Paradise

2009-12-08T21:27:00.000-06:00

Well the weather is turning off cold, wet and nasty... some how I would prefer sun, sand and warmth. :) but that's me.

Tonight doing chores I got lost... I KNOW I KNOW... I've lived on this farm my whole life, and I know this ground like the back of my hand... but in my defense I couldn't see more than twenty feet in front of me with the tractor lights, the drizzle was coming down fairly hard, the wind was picking up and I was trying not to spike any of our many crazy cows. :) Any who I finally my way back home... when all else fails follow the crazy cows... :) the lights of the barn were aglow with a warm light, shelter for the many goats and baby calves.

One of our beef heifers had calved. Fava has had Faith. I think it's a timely F name... We had a Faith once before... I believe this would be Big Faith's great great grand-daughter. Not sure... Big Faith's mother was Charity, she was my baby... a huge black half Holstein half Brahma baby... who grew up to be a huge black cow who even when she was 1500 pounds would still come up and eat corn silks and husks out of my hand and even "suck" my like a baby calf. :) I miss that ole cow. I can see her and feel that rough tongue on my skin. Since I believe all my animals will be with me in heaven, I know that she and all her calves are waiting for me along with all my other critters.

G'nite all... it's been a day...

cold

2009-12-02T21:07:00.000-06:00

Baby it's cold outside! I think winter has finally decided to make it's return. EWWWWW ICK!!!!!!!! Sigh... yeah I was dreaming about going through December in 60 degree weather with the roses still in bloom. It was a nice dream while it lasted. :)

Everything seems to be taking the turn in the weather in stride... except for maybe me... I've decided I don't like cold weather, ice, OK MOISTURE. Why can't the weather people call it what it is... snow, rain, ice... People I don't want to go through another ice storm... not that it's in the forecast BUT anymore we don't get snow... we get ICE... a nasty three letter word in winter... heavenly in summer time... OH sweet summer time... warm temps, grass, leaves on the trees, fresh veggies. :)

Farmlife

2009-12-01T07:44:00.000-06:00

Is there such a thing as having a life if you farm? I wonder... :) the days seemed filled with feeding, cleaning, watering, feeding, worrying and trying not to worry.

Thankfully all the calves seem to be doing well on the whole. There is one I'm watching... she isn't taking weaning well. Such emotional little creatures Jersey are. Maybe that's why I get along with them... I know what they are thinking! Scary thought isn't it?! :)

Not much going on farm wise... well other than PT foreclosing on the property. Sigh... what do you do when you do you all, and no one is happy? That is the question... I wonder does he have a heart? does he even really know and understand what is going on? DON'T answer that! I know the answer... I think I do anyway... Or maybe I don't. Only God knows.

Off for chores!!!!

Heifers 2009 page 1

2009-10-22T07:32:00.000-05:00

#1 Santa Anna
#2 Charlene
#3 Mary Jo
#4 Fabulous
#5 Polly
#6 Hannah
#7 Cora Beth
#8 Suzanna
#9 Bets
#10 Jericho
#11 Twitter
#12 Velocity
#13 Gwendolyn

Busy Days

2009-04-14T10:03:00.002-05:00

Don't you ever have those days where you are just over whelmed by the thoughts of what HAVE to be done, the things you would like to do, and then there is the whole... I'm to tired to do anything!

That's my mood of the day. I can't help it... All I want to do is sleep. That and I dread checking my email anymore. I never know when something is going to come from our attorney about the house and setting, filing this motion and that.

Must dash... rest will come soon enough. And besides that I have Deadliest Catch to look forward to tonight! :)

It's wonderful to be back...

2009-04-12T12:45:00.002-05:00

Silly isn't it... I've of course been blogging over at my other blog, but this "home" to me. There has been a lot going on around here. So to catch up you'll have to head on over to the other blog.

Happy Easter one and all!!!!

Extreme Art!

2009-03-28T08:13:00.000-05:00

This is so cool I couldn't not post it!

Blogging...

2009-02-26T13:21:00.003-06:00

I have made the decision to stop blogging for a time "here". I will be continuing to blog however. IF you would like to keep reading my little thoughts and dairy soapboxes. :) Just email me for the new address. For those who don't have my current email addy it's saraj@hughes.net

See ya on the flip side!

What it was like today...

2009-02-24T21:07:00.003-06:00

OK not really but sorta... We had our own little convoy of a concrete pump, 4 (one or two of the same guy came back again) concrete trucks, 3 concrete contractor guys trucks, gravel truck... any way... I thought this video was fitting, in a way and yet... not at all. Oh well... Enjoy!

What it was like today...

2009-02-24T21:07:00.000-06:00

A good read...

2009-02-24T07:36:00.000-06:00

Tim Rowland: Swallow peanuts, but choke on raw milk?

This is a very well written piece! It's all what I have been saying, thinking, and feeling.

What a monday...

2009-02-23T20:46:00.002-06:00

"Miss MaGoo"

In LBC Dairy's Spring line of calf coat.

Fun meets Functional in this sweetly sublime spring fling offering.

I got somewhat teased and laughed at when these two men came to deliver a load of hay. Oh well, I'm used to. Besides me being not so swift (or so some think) I guess I'm the laugh at type. OR at least what I do. Hey as long as what I do works (and sometimes BETTER than what others think) I don't care if I'm laughed at.

I've always been the odd bovine in the herd. The Salmon who swims opposite of the others. The goose that goes North in winter and South in summer. That dairy farmer who thinks and feels it's not right what goes on in my industry. The one who doesn't take everything hook, line, sinker... You get my drift... :)

Today was one of those good, frustrating, talked with our attorney more than I would have liked, went around my little world in errands, emailed, replied to emails, fed babies more than normal, kicked the kids out ( :( boo hoo), fed cows their hay, went to the chiropractor, and finally am blogging about the day. Man that makes me tired just thinking about it.

Am going to bed now... I hope everyone has had a good one and will have a great day tomorrow.

I Just Want to Priase You

2009-02-22T13:50:00.000-06:00

mohawkvalleychristians: I Just Want to Praise You

As many of you know I truly enjoy going to this site. The link above is an other site that I enjoy and is by the same person. Well if you go to the above link I do believe you will be as blessed as I was. And that's all I have to say. At least for the moment.

It's amazing...

2009-02-22T10:31:00.002-06:00

What makes people tick, their pet peeves... those little things that just drive a person up the wall. It's like the ever present drip of a leaky faucet. drip, Drip, DRip, DRIp, DRIP... Until you just can't take it anymore and you either try to fix it yourself, call a friend who knows about pluming, call a plumber, or just let it go and turn up the music in an effort to drowned it out.

Here are mine:

Crickets chirping in the summer when your trying to go to sleep.

Calves mooing at the TOP of their lungs because they need to be heard. Note: This reverberates off the walls and makes it 10X worse on the ears of their loving (HA!) caretaker who ears are very sensitive to high pitched noises.

Dairy farmers who say... Oh I can make it on $2.00 milk... OK so that's a slight exaggeration. But there are those few who will say that they can still make money when we are being paid below the cost of production. Grr

The words: Like and Awesome being used everything other time in a sentence.

People at the local feed store who say "Oh we need the moisture!" This is after we've just gotten a flood of rain and more is fore casted.

Neighbors who will NOT keep their bulls home. I'll not get on THAT soapbox.

People who say they are Christians. Yet no more act like it than the man in the moon. OR Better yet the business people who have scripture on their business cards, in their office or store. I've yet to not be taken by these people. And yes I consider myself a Christian. I just don't go around saying to people I'm a Christian! Shouldn't we let it show? OK sorry... off on my little rant.

When my milk hauler won't give us that extra 1000 pounds I asked for! KIDDING!!!! JOKING!!!! Yeah I ask... laughing... to which he just laughs. :)

The timer on the oven that you forgot was on going BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP... Then you remember the Magic Bars you made for dessert! :) Yup that just happened moments ago.

So what makes you tick? I'm curious...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Farmside of this post.

Calves are doing OK. I made a "coat" last night for Miss. MaGoo. She's not happy about it, but dog gone it if she doesn't look CUTE in her pink plaid and big green frog polar fleece "coat". If I can just make it a few more days I'll be done with them being sick. Praise the Lord.

It was 18 this AM when I headed out for chores and check ups.

The goats are all doing well. V. and V. will be moving outside tomrrow with the other "girls".

Hay is here... gotta run!!!

You know you're tired when...

2009-02-20T20:05:00.005-06:00

Scout not happy that Buddy (the new dog that needs a new home) is getting close.

You know you're tired when:

1. You enjoy watching shrimp being brined and broiled at 2 AM.

2. You scare yourself when you look in the mirror. (there's a lot of baggage under those eyes)

3. Hot Dogs are good morning noon and night.

4. You forget what you had to get at the store and wonder aimlessly around until you find it.

5. Once at the check out you forget what store you're in, so you can write the check.

6. "kids" are cute morning, noon, and night... And you don't want them to live in the barn... SEE what lack of sleep will do to a person... CRAZY!!!

7. You fall asleep 2 paragraphs into the book your reading.

8. You're tired out 2 hours after being up and about.

9. You forget to remember to forget about writing a letter to the .... ummm I forgot.

10. all you can blog about it your tiredness... How sad is that.

It's days like this that I am thankful I'm not married with kids (real ones). How would I cope with that along with all this. Good heavens...

Long day...

2009-02-19T20:15:00.002-06:00

The days starts with her and her. Our dear little orphans. Vivian (brown) and Vashtie (white). Aren't their ears just darling!

And then this morning Sabrina had Sasha and Suzanna. They were cold and wet there for that is why they are in the clothes basket in the house for a few hours. At present they are with mummy and doing well. Thank the Lord for small things.

In other news things are moving forward with the new basement. Update on that tomorrow. I'm just to worn out from the wind, cold and what seems to me a never ending day. I do believe all the babies (calves) are trying to get scours all at the same time. GRRRRRR at least our milk on pick up days is coming up.

Have a good one... I'm heading to bed early.

A Good thing?

2009-02-18T08:09:00.000-06:00

Vilsack calls for stricter food labels Who knows. I for one would like to know if my pork comes from Canada or the USA. Not a label which says either or. And wouldn't it be nice to know if the butter you buy is imported? And why not take it a step farther and have the COOL for ingredients. I know I for one would like to know my cheese doesn't contain MPC's from India or any of the other countries that we import from.

Why can't we be more like Canada. I believe they aren't supposed to allow processors to us MPC's. I'm sure I read that some where. I'll have to do some research on that. Later y'all

I've done my best...

2009-02-18T07:15:00.002-06:00

And still I seem to come up short. Yesterday was just one of those days. A day when you give your all to no avail, where nothing would have made it all better. We lost our goat... She did not have milk fever, pregnancy toxemia or ketosis... she had torn something while kidding on Sunday. I did take her to the vet yesterday afternoon and that was the diagnosis. It happens... if hurts. Your fine for the moment and the next your crying your eyes out from the hurt. Blaming yourself that you didn't do enough. So now there are two little orphan girls in the house, being fed roughly every 4-5 hours... This always makes me think of PETA. I wonder how many of them have ever tried their best to save a life of an animal. They think farming in inhumane... If would be inhumane to just left domesticated animal run free. They depend on us for care and food. To turn them out would be cruel. My wish is the the high ups in PETA would have to care for 100 baby calves (Holstein to make it easy) and they couldn't lose one or ELSE! :) Wishful thinking.

OK off that little soapbox. Sorry... that just how my thoughts wonder.

Well lets see today is so far over cast and somewhat warm, that is if think 46 is warm for a morning wake up. I would love to just go back to bed and catch a few more ZZZ's but that's not gonna happen. It's good morning barnyard time!

Maybe the gravel will come today... keeping fingers,eyes and toes crossed.

Life takes over...

2009-02-17T07:57:00.002-06:00

I had yesterday all planned out. I never planned for a goat to go into milk fever, or making a trip to the vets office after hours, or having a dog dumped on us. Of course the road of life has a life of it's own, pot holes, shoulder drop offs, detours, right turn only, one way ONLY, NO U-TURNS (I really don't like that one)... You get my drift though.

Why is it we know things aren't always going to go as planned BUT we are so shocked when they don't? Odd little people we are.

OK so I didn't get around to my pet peeves yesterday. Maybe today. We'll see what the day holds. Hopefully all will be right with the world... my world that is...

PS. Hoards did post it! THANK YOU to the powers that be at Hoards! I've also commented again on their last post. :) It didn't make me upset, however it did make me wonder if people in the dairy industry really have the farmers in mind when they are trying to "help".

The truth for the whole country...

2009-02-16T13:01:00.000-06:00

Dairy cows head for slaughter as milk prices sour This is not just a California problem. I wish the journalist would have said more about the producers nation wide and not just in for those in the "Happy Cow" State.

Why is it?

2009-02-16T08:00:00.004-06:00

Why is that when you know exactly what you want to say and how to say it the other person who is normally snitty is just all peaches and cream? ARGH

How can you finally get your point across when they are being that way and not their normal way? Oh so frustrating... Maybe next time, I'll finally get to ask and say what I have been waiting years to ask. Or maybe not.

Later on today I'm going to have a list of my pet peeves. And by the way Hoard's still haven't posted my comment. *BG*

OH and if you have seen the moving Amazing Grace you should!

Soapboxes, Sunshine, baby goats and my big mouth...

2009-02-15T13:47:00.002-06:00

I know it's hard to believe that I do at times get on my Dairy "soapbox" spout off my big mouth. I've not been going to the Hoard's Dairyman blog for some time now. It just tick's my corset strings with the stuff they come up with. Their latest being being this. So I made a quick comment this morning. Of course it's moderated so as of yet my comment hasn't shown up. And I highly doubt it will. All I said was this:

"I think we all know what we should not do during these horrible times we have been put in. It's a good reminder though and thank you for it. But what about the things we can do to prevent this from happening again? Why can't for just once dairy farmers all come together and fight for what is right?The processors are making money hand over foot even in the worst of times. How many dairy farmers can retire with $1 million dollars or more in benefits at the end of 30 years for working a 40 hour week? I'm sorry but it's not happening, not with the farmers I know anyway. We work 7 days a week, sometimes 20 hour days. NO time off, no vacations, and definitely no paid over time.Consumers are thinking we (the farmers) are making all the money because of the still high prices of dairy in the stores. No one wants to give them a true statement of what goes on out here. Instead they see the cute California cow commercials and they see high prices in the store.When are we going to stand up for our rights? My great grandfather made more money off of his butterfat in the 1940's than we are now. How much longer are we really going to take this? When is someone ever going to stand up and say no more? When will the rest of us stand behind this person when they finally have the courage to demand better for the rights of dairy farmers and NOT the rights of the processors?"
Plus I added a little more here and there. I wonder if someone will get around to letting my voice be heard or not. Time will tell.

On the bright side :) the sun is shining and is warming things up into the 40's. No wind or even any breeze just a nice some what warm day on the farm. And with 2 new additions! Velma one of our goats kidded today! 3 days early with 2 little girls! No pictures yet but some to come. It's been a busy day around here. And all I wanted was a day of rest. No rest for the wicked right? :) Or maybe it's No rest for the big mouthed dairy farmer who just wants justice. In more ways than in just farming.

OK I'm off to get a cuppie cake that I made yesterday and watch a movie (Amazing Grace... If you've never read the book you should!) and try to knit a few row's on my dish cloth maybe.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T08:10:00.003-06:00

Wishing everyone a very Happy Valentine's Day with the one or ones you love!

TGIF

2009-02-13T20:42:00.003-06:00

Like it is really going to make any difference since my job doesn't end at the end of the week, however I'm thankful today is over with. It's been a long one.

Stacy and Janell both calved both bulls. What is up with all these bull calves?! I think the "girls" got together last May and decided to have mostly little boy bovine to watch me go into the dumps and give a funny face of disgusted at them. I know they are secretly laughing behind my back. Oh well I'll just have to love the little fellers even though that I would love to love some little girl babies. OK Daisy, Spirit, Tracy, Betty G. ... are all still in the waiting.

Good things that happened today. Jerrett's came and finished up the excavation, B. got the sink to drain in the kitchen (this old house is turning against us), we found some hay for the moo's tonight, all babies are doing well (Rivera, Blossom, George, Mitford, Miss Magoo, Bingo, Stonewall, Jeffro how do I do it? what odd little names for these baby bovines), the sun shined and it was in the 60's... and last but not least... it's almost bed time and I didn't fall, trip, or loose my cool today.

BG...

2009-02-12T20:22:00.002-06:00

BG... or Big Girl as she is known around these parts calved this evening with a big bull calf. He's doing well and took a bottle without trouble. Thank the Lord for small things. Some babies can be such bull headed snots. Refusing to eat even though they need food ASAP.

More later... I'm about to fall asleep while typing.

New baby...

2009-02-11T20:14:00.003-06:00

Maxima calved tonight. After all the rain. Which had made mud and I'm not talking about normal mud. This stuff will take you in and hold on for dear life. In fact I got almost stuck carrying a brand new, never been used, still wet, baby heifer. Who is from the tips of her front feet to the tips of her back feet longer than I am tall. She was slipping out of my hold as I was trying to get unstuck and landed in soft mud.

I don't think I went 8 hours with out being totally wet or muddy from head to toe. Oh the wonderful joys of farming.

Now I'm ready for a nice and relaxing evening of rest and warmth. And thoughts of what to name the newest member of the MO-MOOS Jerseys.

Stephen Fowler AGAIN!

2009-02-11T20:14:00.000-06:00

Husbands Behaving Badly - Yahoo! TV Blog

Finally! It took awhile, but it's finally of the ABC message boards. All I can say is it's about time.

It's raining...

2009-02-11T07:38:00.002-06:00

It started somewhere around 9 last night and has continued off and on all night and in to the morning hours. More rain this AM and tapering off early this afternoon. Thankfully no severe weather happened in our neck of the woods. We should be expecting sun for the morrow with a few clouds mixed and a gentle breeze. Who knew I could sound so much like the weather forecaster! Maybe I should take up a new profession! Nah...

Bovine world will be a muddy, mucky, messy land this morning. Oh the joys of warm weather and rain. I'm NOT complaining just stating a fact. It's time to think about gardening and digging in dirt. Little growing things and they heavenly smell of a rain in March and April. Daffodils poking their little heads up having taken their winter hibernation long enough. By the way ours are just starting to pop up. Robins and Blue Birds making their way back. Singing their sweet songs. I'm READY!!!

OK I'll get off my spring kick. On tap for today, chores, be-moaning the rain and getting wet while doing chores, sewing, loading our beef and bidding him so long, chores, sleep and starting the day over again tomorrow. Only tomorrow there will be SUN and NO rain. :)

Wild and Windy

2009-02-09T19:41:00.002-06:00

The wind was the big thing today. Gusts up to 40 MPH (between you and me they were more than that). Anyway it's blowing in thunder storms for tomorrow. Thankfully the rains today stayed mainly to the west and north of us.

Nothing much else is going on. It's been a lazy day around the ole homestead. I have wanted to go to sleep all day and now I seem to have come alive. :) I've got to get my days and night switched.

I'm so glad today

2009-02-08T21:29:00.002-06:00

Is almost tomorrow. The day started with Monarch going into milk fever and her treatment. Thankfully she wasn't to bad off and could still walk. OK stagger. Good ole Barometric pressure will do it ever time. She was much better this evening and we gave her another tube of calcium. She was bound and determined to go where she shouldn't. That's just par for the course. She'll be milked in the morning when she if fully steady on her feet. I'm so very glad she wasn't down and needing an IV.

Having said all that... the chocolate cake making never happened. It was a frozen chocolate cake wife coffee ice cream instead. Thankfully the brisket turned out well along with the potato salad. It makes it seem that warmer weather is really and truly on the way.

Tonight we dried off some cows. Several of whom need to go into my close up dry cow pen. It's so nice having them close up where I can keep a good I on them. So far there are 10 up close and waiting to "pop".

I'm hoping and praying the rain goes far north of us or south. We really don't need any rain right now.

World Dairy Diary » Blog Archives » The Seven Facts

2009-02-08T08:04:00.000-06:00

World Dairy Diary » Blog Archives » The Seven Facts A very interesting piece of work. It's amazing that when you donate money to ANY organization that you really don't know how much us really going to go to ease the hurting and suffering of others or animals. Thought provoking

Labor and Delivery

2009-02-07T12:17:00.002-06:00

Yet again another momma cow is calving. The questions abound with will it go OK? I wonder if it will be a bull or heifer? any white on him or her by chance (With Monarch calving there is a good chance)? It's just a waiting game right now.

In other farm news... the penned up close up let themselves OUT with the rest of the dry herd and heifers. ARGH! I had wanted to dry off some of the milkers today however that's not going to happen since those naughty mothers to be broke out. Grrr

Nothing much happening here. I want to find The Barefoot Contessa's Chocolate Cake recipe to go with the brisket I'm going to be smoking tonight for dinner tomorrow. I've decided one can't start the grilling season early enough. So tomorrow's dinner will be smoked brisket, potato salad, some kind of other vegetable or salad, and chocolate cake for dessert.

And before I leave... isn't my "cover girl" Cotton Blossom just the cutest baby you've ever SEEN!
She's got a loud mouth and attitude behind that sweet face.

Chicken Diapers

2009-02-06T13:08:00.000-06:00

Catalog

I never would have thought of this... I'm just utterly amazed. What will they come up with next? Oh by they way... you can even get a camo colored diaper. I guess in case you want to take you pet chicken hunting with you.

SO FUNNY! Check out the Gallery!

Cloud nine...

2009-02-06T12:34:00.002-06:00

There is a comfort in knowing that you are right in your decisions. Yesterday demo started... I think we are all glad it's done. But there was the stress of... what if the engineers who ex-ray ed the walls were wrong? What if we should have gone with the advice, pushing, of countless contractors, people in the know and others and just lived with it and built a pony wall on top of the old basement/foundation?

Thankfully we were right. It took less than 15 minutes to come down. The re-bar in the floor was as I said... just laying on top of the gravel with the "mud" poured over it. And there wasn't a thickened "ribbon" down the middle either. It took a total of 7 hours (give or take an hour) to re-excavate, demo, and remove the mess.

To add to the grandness of it all we have 60 degree weather with SUN and wind (good for the drying out of dirt mud). Big Boy George nursed his mummy and took a bottle from this mummy. I think Madeline has a few hurt feelings over me giving him a bottle and would like nothing better than to take her baby into the hills. :) She's so in love with him that he is wet from head to tail from Madeline giving him a "bath".

It's a good day.

OH funny thing happened last night. The USDA called and had questions about our dairy. The first question she asked was... Do you still live at such and such Rd in Suchandsuch? I was so tired and not in the mood to do this that I said "Well the last time I checked we did". I mean come on... they called a month ago for a report! How is a dairy going to move in less than a month! Oh at least I can laugh about.

Big Boy!

2009-02-05T15:10:00.002-06:00

It's a HUGE bull. Part beef, but mostly jersey. Our beef heifer was trying to have him on Tuesday evening. NO go. We couldn't find a vet (WHY won't they answer their phones?). But mom had the idea to call a friend of ours to come and he did. And didn't mind either. I just knew I couldn't pull him without hurting Mini Madeline or him.

Big Boy as he is being called (or George which ever mood I'm in) is weighing in at a good 90 pounds. I wish I could get a good shot of his joints for with a perspective. As this little feller isn't so little. HEY here's a thought for ya... take a can of soda add about a quarter of an inch all the way around and that would be the size of his ankles.

He's a sweet heart!

House UPDATE!!!

2009-02-05T13:12:00.002-06:00

HEY work is being done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever happened?

2009-02-03T16:52:00.002-06:00

To manners? Please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, or just having patience.

Today I had to make a quick trip to town. On the way home I had a sudden Zero candy bar attack. Yes I know it's bad for me. However I hardly ever eat candy bars and well for some reason it seemed like a good idea to just quickly run into Dollar General for one and look around a little.

I headed up to the check out and there was a man in front of me in line. NO problem... until he turned around. No pardon me, excuse me, sorry but can I get by? If I hadn't moved he would have pushed me out of the way I'm sure. I've seen this fellow around town and he's not the nicest of people. Anyway he kept it up. Not once, or twice, but 5 or 6 times. The first time I was fine with it, but after the 2nd time with no I'm sorry, excuse me, or anything. Well it started to wear me slick! Even the cashier seemed peeved.

What gives!? I can understand if it's several people doing it while your shopping, however when it's one single person who just acts like they own the place and your just in their way. I don't know. It just set me off on the inside. After that it was peanuts. The whole salmonella scare. The one they were saying DON'T EAT DAIRY! NO RAW MILK or RAW MILK CHEESE, or EGGS.... something like that. And come to find out it's PEANUTS! From a plant in TX that hasn't been inspected in four YEARS! Unlicensed for four YEARS! ARGH! I guess peanuts don't rate on the inspection scale like dairy farms. Nor do they seem to have to have samples taken at random to check Bactria levels in or on the peanuts.

Off my soapbox for a time... I have read about Stephen Fowler. I just can't seem to pull myself away from it. Why is this?

Wife Swap - Stephen Fowler

2009-02-02T07:50:00.002-06:00

For some reason I just can NOT get this out of my head. I've been reading the ABC's Wife Swap message board over episode #511 (I believe that is the correct one) The Long/Fowler swap.

How can any one person be so hateful, berating, an so self important? This guy (Stephen) found pleasure in hurting another human being. He was classifying entire groups of people. Those who were beneath him. Midwesterners, non-college educated, those from small towns, the overweight, those in the military. From his apparent views, all these people are stupid and well below him. Like he said we need your kind to serve in the army. Or something to that effect

However, because of him people from all walks of life, the college educated, non-college educated, small town people, big city people, East coast, West coast, North and South, military, Christan's, atheist, they all banded together in a great dislike of the Fowler clan.

One thing though is this. Farmer's seem to be beneath EVERYONE. It's nice to know that the people who are feeding this country and other countries are so low on the "food chain" no pun intended. If people think we (farmers) are so stupid WHY on earth do they allow us to feed them? I'll tell you why. Most people IMHO don't want to do the work, get their hands dirty, bleed, sweat, have no money, or have people look down their noses at them. Sorry for the road less traveled paragraph here.

I what to say this and then I will get off this SF kick. Everyone is ignorant on some things. But isn't that is what learning is for and being open to learning. Not one single person on the planet could do EVERY profession and do it well or knows everything about everything. (Well maybe the anti-Christ) Having character and compassion for your fellow man is a much sought after commodity these days. It doesn't take a college education to get either one of those. I pity the Fowler's of this world (who would more than likely say I don't need your pity.). How sad is it that these people have so little knowledge of anything besides themselves.

Have a good one from a non-college educated, small town, over-weight, farming, Mid-Western living, thankful I am what I am and that I am where I am.

A busy day of rest

2009-02-01T12:24:00.002-06:00

It has just been one of those busy days. With the warmer weather everything is a soupy, soggy, saturated MESS. I was finally able to get the holding pen cleaned off (somewhat), fed the cow masses early, OH and we had a new baby... a bull. Oh well maybe a heifer will be in the works with one of the other Mums to be.

Normally I don't do "extra" chores such as cleaning the holding pen or barns, anything of that nature on a Sunday. However, today was a nice warm day and tomorrow was going to about 20 degree's cooler. SO I just decided to get it over and done with.

We finally got done with chores at noon. As I needed some help with feeding the dry cows/heifers since I put Scarlett bake out with them and I don't want him running around in the yard while I leave a gate open.

I'm ready for a nap!

Do ya?

2009-01-31T08:00:00.002-06:00

Ever have that feeling like you've been hit by a Mack truck?! OK put your imagination to work here. Imagine that if you had been hit by a truck and lived to tell about it wouldn't you feel the least bit achy, tight, stiff, and it a little bit of I don't know pain? Boy of boy do I feel this way... My chiropractor is right. Falling isn't good for the body.

Hey did anyone watch Wife Swap (link to the message board) last night? Normally we don't watch this (we aren't in from chores that early) however last night we got to watch the last half. If so what was your take on it? Being from the MO and seeing that is in the Midwest (isn't it?) and since we are all classified by him as being ignorant rednecks I shouldn't say to much more. After all I'm sure I could spell all them big ole words goodnuf... Sorry but I had to add that touch to it.

Well it's off to do chores. That is if I can get up from this chair. :)

Watering while the sun shines...

2009-01-29T15:00:00.002-06:00

It's a heat wave in the great out doors! 35 degree's with loads of sunshine. What a blessing to have some melting going on. Everything is soaking up as much warmth as rays can bestow.

I do believe I would do the same thing if we had a sun room or I had a place to sit where the snow wouldn't melt underneath me. It also makes me wish I knew how to cross country ski. Wouldn't that just be the most fun?! Of course it would be good if I lived in a state where there were more snow days than maybe snow on the ground for a total of 2 weeks during the winter months. Don't ya think? Thankfully I don't but one never knows what the future can hold. However I'm not holding my breath!

With the warming effects the frozen water hose and hydrant became unfrozen than I would have thought possible. After all the better part of the hose was under snow and sleet. So at least I got the big calves, Stupid (our next beef, and trust me he is STUPID!), baby moos, and the goats watered. I did this while feeding Cotton Blossom her mid afternoon bottle. I'll be glad when she's over the scours and I can go back to the twice a day feedings vs. four a day feedings to keep her hydrated. I don't mind though... as long as I don't fall again (did that this morning in a mad dash to get to a phone that was ringing on the hook!).

Thomas Kinkaidish Outside

2009-01-27T19:22:00.000-06:00

We have about 2” of the white stuff and still more is falling. As I was going back and forth from the big barn to the milk barn tonight I looked up and there was just the one like on in the house and it was that fluffy, misty, soft look. Just like one of Thomas Kinkaid’s pictures. It made me smile and enjoy the evening.

Of course that didn’t last due to this:

She LOVES snow! It turns her into a puppy again. Running, jumping, getting airborne from the sheer thrill of all the flakes! It wouldn’t be so bad but she loves to “attack” me from the back. Rather scary when your toting HOT (165 degrees hot) water to the little bovines and goats water tanks to melt the ice. She’s in now and sleeping like a baby… silly girl. But I do adore her and hardly would know how to act if she wasn’t around. Scout… What a wonderfully naughty dog.

Frustration...

2009-01-27T07:16:00.002-06:00

I do want to apologize for the less than perky posts as of late. It's just from the fact that I'm in utter frustration over our current housing situation. When you have a house that is sitting in your pasture looking at it everyday and you in an old home that you shouldn't even be in it just gets overwhelming at times. Sorry...

On to other things. We still haven't gotten any snow. However it did try to rain last night. Rain on top of sleet... hmm should be great fun this morning doing chores. :) Maybe I should just go back to bed and pull the cover up over my head and not face the day. At least I would warm and comfortable.

Can you spell FREEZING RAIN?!

2009-01-26T18:45:00.002-06:00

Yup... as I speak, type... oh whatever... it's doing just that. Freezing rain, sleet... WERE is the snow they for casted for us? I would much rather have snow than this nasty stuff.

On the up side I fed everything early before it got bad. So now everyone is in (except the milking herd as they are being finished up and then they can head into the lean-to for some shelter from the storm.

I'm glad I can take some shelter from this weather. However yet again the main thing is trying to keep warm... at this point it's laughable.

In other news... hmm there really isn't much else going on. My crocheting endeavors are well ... I'm trying and that's all I'm willing to admit at this time. :) I was going to try and bake some cookies today but that didn't happen with the early feeding and all that good stuff. Maybe tomorrow. At least it's a good excuse to keep the oven on in the kitchen to keep it some what warm. The other morning it was 41 in there. Now that was cold!

Happy Winter Wonderland! Spring is coming coming isn't it?

Howdy

2009-01-25T15:17:00.002-06:00

It has turned off COLD here again. I know like we didn't know it wasn't coming. Some how after you have a warm few days the cold seems all that much more chilling.

It's been a busy past few days here. And let me tell ya I'm tired. A normally relaxing Sunday has taken on a life of it's own. Stocking up on food and such. Unloading 2 loads of hay. Feeding hay and finding that a steer is down and bloated. ARGH I did manage to get him up once on my own. Only to have him get on his feet and fall over and then I couldn't budge him. So I went for reinforcements. Yet again he is on his feet and standing more steady. We moved 6 calves from one pen to another, I more their feeders so there would be more space for them to eat. And now am finally in until I have to go back out in a little more than an hour.

Wishing for spring to come swiftly as I've about had it with cold, ice, snow (unexpected on Friday night), winds... and an ever looming ice storm potential. Is there any one who want to buy me a farm in Southern TX???? if so let me know!!! :)

Almost a done day...

2009-01-22T16:40:00.002-06:00

The finish line is with in reach. Just a few more hours and I'll be DONE for the day. Oh happy day! It's been a long day... I'm NOT a morning person so being awake since 3 this AM has put a cramp in my style. For some reason the house was lite up and noisy during normal sleeping hours. WHY? I haven't a clue.

I'm just telling it like it is... Maybe tomorrow there will be a big piece of equipment demoing the old basement?! Dare I hope they drop off the digger tonight?! That would be asking to much. But maybe JUST maybe I'll be out doing chores and they'll roll in the drive with that wonderful semi loaded with the "monster" on it! *doing happy chair dance* :)

I'll keep ya updated.

CHORE TIME! If anyone would like to come hand help in 65 glorious degree SW MO your more than welcome! :) Don't worry the warm temps will pass... we are expecting snow for next week. ARGH!

Gianna Jessen Part 1

2009-01-21T16:38:00.002-06:00

I found this after going from the blog Yeah,right to another blog here. I'm including both part one and two. Gianna's story is truely inspiring and brought tears to my eyes. And to me reaches far beyond just the abortion issue to many more in our world today.

Part 2

2009-01-21T16:37:00.001-06:00

This is odd writing in reverse order.

Good Morning Barnyard...

2009-01-21T07:10:00.002-06:00

Good Morning from a frosty, chilly, cloudy with the potential to be a warm and sunny day. Lets hope and pray for the later. I'm ready for sun and some warmth.

All in all things are going OK here. As always things could be better. Right now I'm just hoping the cows would start to freshen in so we could have milk in the tank rather than in waiting. There are days I feel like pulling my hair out.

At least the excavators might be here tomorrow. Friday for sure. However at this point I'm not holding my breath. Yes I'm trying not to be pessimistic. Today it's up hill work though. It seems like every time we get ready to start something happens to stop us.
This is off the subject but I just wanted it written down just in case. Yesterday evening a navy blue Chevy extended cab truck (step-side) was going by and then stopped in the road (just past our house with a perfect view of the where the new house is going) when it saw me it put petal to the metal and left. There have been odd things happening around here as of late. And it just has me puzzled. Who cares about that danged old basement other than us and the other parties involved?

I promise post a more upbeat message later! :)

Baking...

2009-01-20T16:02:00.002-06:00

Today I finally got around to making cookies. In fact they were The BEST Oatmeal Raisin Cookies . 4 doz of the most wonderful cookies. Simply for the fact that it's been years since I've made them and they are a favorite of mine.

The temps are on the chilly side today, HOWEVER tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 50's!!! WOO HOO!!! All the moos are bearing up the best they can. And so am. Or I'm trying to anyway.

I've also being doing some sewing and I've even been trying to learn how to crochet... argh. My tension is ALL wrong. Oh well my dish cloth is finished and it only to me 3 days! :)

It's hard to believe...

2009-01-20T07:48:00.002-06:00

That today:

1. There will be a new President coming into office.
2. Today will forever change our lives as Americans... more so than when any other newly inaugurated President took office.
3. My prayers will change.

I've never felt like this with any other person. Will the change come softly like a warm breeze in Spring? or will the change come more in the form of radical change with freedoms taken from us? In a nice package however.

Only time will tell. And all I'm going to say is I HOPE that all those who voted for Mr.President will be happy in the end with that they have chosen. There is a difference when you vote for what you feel is best for country over what is best for self.

I keep thinking what would my great grandmother and all those who have gone before me thought of current events.

What are your thoughts?

And the tractor runs...

2009-01-18T12:23:00.002-06:00

YES you read that correctly! Yesterday after trial and many errors I - correction - God and I got Aggie going again. I was going to go out and drive in circles and toot the horn! However our Mennonite neighbor was entertaining company so I thought it best to remain somewhat sain. Even though I was SO SO SO happy! I just let her run... then shut her off and added Hydraulic Fluid. It's so good to have our tractor running again. And I will know more what I'm doing the next time, and I know now how to bleed air from the fuel line.

I am very thankful though to out other neighbor for sending his son down to feed hay for us and the other neighbor to put grain in our temporary feed bin so we wouldn't have to bucket feed in. Even though I do get frustrated with out neighbors (some more than others) At least the will help us in a pinch.

I am also very thankful for the break in the weather. Let me tell ya... 48 seems like heaven compared to 9 above and 0 for a low. Today we are in the low 40's with wonderful sunshine and blue skies.

Thank goodness it's... Or I'm NOT Mary Poppins

2009-01-16T14:01:00.004-06:00

One day closer to SPRING! Late nights low was 0. Thankfully we aren't as cold as our northern and eastern neighbors. Although when it's gets this cold does it really matter what the thermometer says???

Anyway sorry for not posting a more news worthy post this week. It's been cold... that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Wednesday the tractor froze up. I cried, prayed, screamed, threw tools, tossed the tractor manual, cried, prayed, gave up... Not in that order but pretty dog gone close. Yesterday I tried again to get it to go... HA! I say HA! It would help if I had a clue as to what I was doing. It would help if I had working lights in the barn so I could see what I'm doing. It would also help if I knew that the part I got this AM was going to work as it's a cross referenced New Holland fuel filter for an Agco Allis tractor. Did that make sense? It doesn't to me either. OH WELL. Please pray that I can get the old filter off and the new one on with out air locking the lines. AND that it will run!

Other farm news... Both babies decided to get scours at the same time RIGHT before the cold snap. Can you say ADDED STRESS and UTTER FRUSTRATION? The one is doing better than the other only because he was sick 24 hours before the other.
Cotton has yet to calve. The cats are going nuts. I've broken ice on water tanks, carried hot water to thaw tubs of ice. I would LOVE to take a picture of the cold... how does one do that? The ice in the tanks? "Icicles" on the bovines noses? OR maybe an SUV that won't start!? Yes I forgot about that... I'm going to (in my mind) draft a letter to the engineers who have designed the tractor and our vehicles. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!?!

Yes the cold weather brings out the worst in me. Rather it brings out my frustrations. Know what I mean Vern? So here is to better and warmer days to come.

My favorite David Austen rose... Oh for summer!

Yet another Mark Lowery clip!

2009-01-14T11:23:00.000-06:00

Did You Know?

2009-01-13T11:53:00.001-06:00

I know I'm way behind in things... but this just blew my mind.

Did You Know? from Amybeth on Vimeo.

Mark Lowery for President!

2009-01-13T10:29:00.000-06:00

Laughter doeth good...

2009-01-12T14:47:00.000-06:00

Like a medicine. I forgot just how comical Mark Lowery is.

Blog picture...

2009-01-12T12:03:00.003-06:00

For some odd reason this was the only one that seems to fit my mood today. Along with the color changes (the red is really fitting my mood). The picture is from last summer when mom and I were chasing the neighbors bull home. Fun times :)

Morning chores are finished, along with breakfast, me arguing with the news commentators, changing the blog here and taking down the Christmas tree. Now I just need to drag the tree off, free it of the stand, and measure the walls in the old basement. Take MORE pictures. And hopefully get to feeling somewhat normal. The ole body is still aching and not really wanting to move unless I'm loaded down with Ibuprofen.

OK enough of my moaning and groaning...

Calgon... take ME away...

2009-01-11T19:11:00.002-06:00

That was my favorite commercial as a kid. Funny isn't it... I would go around the house saying calgon... TAKE me away. Now I'm wishing it would! :) KIDDING! Sorta... We are in for a roller coaster of a ride weather wise this coming week. Temps are going to be all over the place.

I wish I could be taken away to somewhere warm, sunny, and twine free. So I could sit... NO recline on a comfy porch chair, and breath in warm , sweetly scent air where the birds are singing and flowers are blooming...

A girl can dream can't she?!

Strange evening...

2009-01-10T09:59:00.003-06:00

Yesterday evening was like most around here. Dinner, start on chores, etc. etc. etc.! (Note: That was being said JUST like in the King and I with Yul Brenner, I REALLY like that movie.)
Anyway!!! To change things up last night... Instead of yours truly going to get the milk cows up, I asked my grandmother to so I could get the dry cows fed BEFORE it got dark. NOT a problem. Well while I'm out feeding the above mentioned non-lactating bovine, things are happening without my knowledge. The power is going out. So at a quarter to 6 last night we were with out power. My grandmother thought she was the one who caused it as she hit a guide wires and sparks flew! She felt so bad. But we all know accidents happen. A few hours later, we find out it wasn't her at all. After all the pole and lines were still up. Three breakers and the sub-station were out.

None of this bothers me or my choring. I'm used to doing things in the dark. The only hurdle I had was figuring out how to drain the hot water heater to warm the "boys" bottles. After that I went to the house and Kris and I started to get wood in before it started raining. I decided to let the cows off the big holding area since if we didn't have power back in 2.5 hours it was going to be a LONG wait.

Power finally came back on around 11 last night and we milked early this AM. I so love electricity! It's a wonderful thing... water, lights, my computer, :) Has anyone ever noticed that the moment you lose power the first thing that happens is you get thirsty and have to use the bathroom? WHY is that!? I would really like to know what caused the power outage. I'm sure we'll find out from J.B. who is bringing some hay later on today. The Mennonites know everything!

All is going well this AM... the moos are milked and fed, and so are the mini moos. I didn't fall like I did yesterday morning. Let me tell y'all... concrete doesn't "give". Thankfully my arms were full of hay and my head fell into it rather than the concrete. My knee however wasn't so fortunate.

Well I'm off to do something... what I don't know. :) Maybe I'll make a comment on the Hoard's Dairyman Blog. It just hit me the wrong way. Besides I've not gotten up on my dairy soapbox in a long time.

Nick Vujicic...

2009-01-09T15:25:00.001-06:00

I'm sure everyone has seen this. But it helped me today.

Another day another

2009-01-08T13:30:00.002-06:00

I don't know... it's definitely not dollar... maybe another mood. I've been in a foul mood today and as hard as I try I'm not getting over it quickly. Oh well so it goes. My energy will peter out and so will my mood.

On the good side of things the sun is shining. Blue sky, no clouds... they are moving in however. My computer is running, the dogs aren't chasing anything they shouldn't. OH and guess who has been standing on all four hooves?! Geraldo! the little stinker has been standing for a day now. And this morning I didn't even have to corner him to get him started taking his bottle! He's coming right along. And so is his momma... she doesn't have to have a strap (kicker) anymore to be milked. Not bad. She's doing better than the jersey heifers we have freshened in.

Later y'all...

#390

2009-01-07T08:27:00.002-06:00

Post number that is... Yesterday was a day to remember yet forget. You know those kinds of days. The days you have your little fit of carnality, the world seems on your shoulders, and you just can't take one more thing going wrong?

This morning I'm running late, because I got up late, since I was finally able to relax and sleep for once. After a month of trying to get to our Chiropractor who's office is in Springfield. My body was relaxed so I slept. Sleep is a good thing!

So I need to face the day again. If I can ever get up and at it that is. Happy Wednesday to everyone. May your day be warm, sunny, and a blessing.

7 minutes!

2009-01-05T07:23:00.002-06:00

I've got seven minutes before I head out for early chores, and a day full of (hopefully) excitement! I get to go to the FSA office this morning (If it weren't for Sue I would very much dislike going... thankfully I won't have to deal with the other office to the west of us), then hopefully someone will be here diggering!, go to Springfield maybe and chores. All in all it should be an active day of the farm, road, and the new basement!

Keeping my fingers crossed, prayers in motion, and the stove going... in a very chilly SWMO! Hey we are at 20 degrees and the sun is just up! WOO HOO! When is the first day of Spring again?!

Day 4 already?!

2009-01-04T12:56:00.002-06:00

It's really hard to believe this year is flying by already. For some reason the days have just slipped one into another. Friday was a whirlwind of activity: clean up around the yard, 2 new babies were born... both are of the male persuasion, I managed to get them loaded without getting hurt this time. :) And various people came by.

Saturday was unseasonably warm... almost 70! It was heavenly! I did both sets of chores with just a t-shirt and hoodie for warmth and I was in sneakers! While doing the baby feeding I was wishing I would have enjoyed not have babies to feed to it's full potential. Sigh of sighs... it's to late now. These last two bundles of bovine joy seem to have not been given their full share of mental know how. Geraldo and Rivera (just random names I pulled out in the darkness of a Friday night). Rivera is all Jersey... he just isn't that swift. He will suck my fingers with gusto! The nipple on the bottle... not so much. Geraldo is part beef. And if we hadn't needed the milk so badly we wouldn't be milking his 5/8 dairy 3/8 beef mother. However he needs personal attention since he is weak on his hind ankles and never would have made it on the open range. yeah our whole 30 acres of non open pasture/range/timber... whatever you want to call it. Anyway he has an attitude problem. He has yet to take a bottle on his own. Rather he has been tube fed for 4 feedings now. If it hadn't turned cold I would have let him get a little hungry. And then I'm sure he would be taking his bottle will all the vigor that I know is bubbling deep with in that stubborn beef soul of his. OK so he's more dairy than beef... but he LOOKS beefy. :)

Saturday also found me cleaning off the side lot and holding pen. I finally had a warm day AND a balance bale for the back of the tractor. I've been feeding hay so quick around here I never seem to have both a nice day or a bale to get things done! I was thrilled to get it done before we had to break the two new mothers to the barn. Oh the joys of first calf heifers. These two are doing pretty well, not at ALL like this one heifer we had or her off spring. This one heifer she would NOT come on the holding pen. So we had to lead her on with the tractor and tie her to the holding pen to keep her there. She was a jumper. After all that she was as good as gold. Ya gotta love these bovines.

Today has turned off cold. We are hovering around 27 and will drop to 15 tonight. Let me tell you... I LIKE global warming! I know I know... remind me of this in July and August when the temps are going in the upward direction of 98 + . It was still nice to be outside and be warm rather than cold both inside and out.

A whole new year...

2009-01-01T20:50:00.003-06:00

It seems to stretch out in front of me like an empty canvas. Or fabric waiting to be cut and sewn into various quilts, clothes, curtains... I could go on. I'm sure you get my drift.

Somethings though are just the same thing, different day. Chores, cows, feeding... Going to town for onions because NO body to you that there was not ONE yellow onion on the whole farm! And how in the world are you going to make Beef Lo Mien, Egg Rolls, Vegetable something or other... without ONIONS!? And of course one onion leads to getting 4, 4 onions lead to OH we need cat food for the grey one ton spade Manx cat and her various off spring (OK so she's NOT one ton... she is large though... just the way we like them ). So from a quick trip to get onions, it ends up being onions, fortune cookies, news paper, cat food, interfacing, and this carbonated fruit juice... which isn't half bad! And would you believe there was a run on cat food. All I got was one small indoor cat, cat food bag of food. Sigh... :)

All in all it was a good day. Dinner was good even if I do say so myself. The rice was on the salty side so it got pitched. Chores went well and some friends, God bless them (and I mean that whole heatedly) brought us 2 loads of DRY wood to burn in our stove. It's the first time we've been really and truly warm in days. And not I'm not exaggerating.

I hope everyone had a good New Years Day.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T21:10:00.002-06:00

Well this is the last post of 2008. It's hard to believe that the year has flown by so quickly yet so very (at times extremely) slowly.

For me 2008 will be remembered as Stress, tears, frustrations, stress, prayers answered, prayers still on the burner for 2009, faith, tears, STRESS. All in all I'm glad we are done with this year. Not that when I wake up tomorrow morning there still won't be stress, I'm sure there will be tears next year... It's simply the thought that OK lets try and make this year better than last with the good Lords help of course...

I ponder what 2009 will bring. Thoughts seem to fly through my head at an amazing speed. So I think I will sign off for the last time this year and see you next year! :)

PS. Our New Years celebration consisted of... chips and dip, Dr.Pepper, and that's about it. Tomorrow I'm making Chinese for dinner... :) YUM!

Work being done!

2008-12-31T15:23:00.002-06:00

We couldn't believe it! Workers working when it's chilly out! The Electric company came today to set the poles for the electricity for the house. For pictures and my silly ramblings about you know where to go. And for those who don't. Go to Home Sweet Home ...

More of an update for the farm and my silliness later. :)

Gone with the wind...

2008-12-29T07:34:00.003-06:00

It's been a week end. Sold the treadmill, tried to relax (what a joke), played with my camera, fell while feeding hay, taped and put plastic on yet another window in an effort to TRY and keep somewhat warm.

Tried to hook up a DVD player to a small TV... that isn't going well. BUT at least I've got channels coming in. It's amazing how well things go when you read the directions. It's very difficult for me to read the directions to a product it there are pictures. I'm more a of sight learner. If I can keep my attention focused for that long. I've only become like this (lack of attention) in the past few mouths when the stress in my life has been at an all time high.

At times all in can think about are things I can't control (not that I want to) or the shoulda woulda coulda's... sigh... I'm not going there today! It will just make me upset and want to cry. And then that would set off a domino effect... I just can't do it today. Maybe tomorrow... as Scarlett always says "Afta all tomorrow is anotha day" ... I really like that movie... And it's NOTHING like the book. And I've read the book so that's how I know.

So my little chickens, I'm off... I'll be back later! :) Betcha can hardly wait...

Nice Day...

2008-12-26T18:27:00.002-06:00

We've had a nice day today. We also had a nice day yesterday...Weather wise it's been in the upper 60's here. And you won't here me complaining! :) I love spring weather, however I'm not lovin' what I'm hearing for tonight and tomorrow. Hail, tornado's, RAIN... torrential proportions... sigh... There are days I love global warming... then there are days ... umm not so much.

Yesterday was spent with just the four of us. It was so nice. We didn't shop much (lack of funds and time) but what we did do seemed just enough. And for ONCE I was honest about what I wanted. Silly isn't it. How it's hard to just say what you want... would enjoy. It's once a year, and while I find that it's overly commercialized, it's still nice to give and receive. Know what I mean Vern?

Anyway there is always next year right? To do better, shop earlier, be better prepared. I say this every year. And every year I'm out on Christmas Eve shopping (hey there are some really good deals the day before). This coming year though I aim to do better!

I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful Christmas.

Walking in a Winter Dairy Land

2008-12-25T08:16:00.000-06:00

Walking in a Winter Dairy Land

Cow bells ring are you listening, in the barn the cows are milking, it’s a beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter dairy land.

Gone away is the green grass, here to stay is hay in net wrap, we feed them along, keeping them strong, walking in winter dairy land.

In the barn we will build a hay stack and we’ll pretend that the goats will stay in their pens. However, it will just be wishful thinking, because goats are always out and never in.

Later on, the dogs will conspire, how to chase anything on four tires and to face unafraid all the yelling that is made, walking in a winter dairy land.

Wishing you a peace and joy filled Christmas and a blessed and prosperous New Year!

From everyone here… MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas ~ Birth Announcement

2008-12-24T19:38:00.001-06:00

Birth Announcement
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16

Scriptures for the Week: Isaiah 9:6 and Luke 2-4-14
Isaiah 9:6
6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Luke 2:4-14
4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.
5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.
6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,
7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
8.And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.

Merry Christmas #4

2008-12-23T20:41:00.000-06:00

One of my favorites.

Merry Christmas #3

2008-12-22T19:49:00.001-06:00

Click on the Take Time .

Merry Christmas!!!

Things I never thought I would be doing...

2008-12-22T14:06:00.002-06:00

Here are the top FIVE things I never thought I would ever be doing or would have done in my life.

#5 Be milking cows... This wasn't in the grand scheme of life or so I thought. Yes I always want to live on a dairy... however I would like someone else to be feeding, milking, doing chores for the moo's in weather that isn't fit for man nor beast. Yesterday was one of those days.

#4 I never thought I would have a blog... a voice! Even if it is just a small one. Somehow though it really shouldn't have surprised me. I've always been vocal about things I'm passionate about. After all at the age of 11 I did write in to God's World (like the weekly reader) about some comment some nasty boy had made. What was his name...

#3 Driven by myself to and from PA. I had guts back then. Now I would be almost scared to do it. But it was fun... sorta... in a freeway, fast speeds, and rain sorta way.

#2 To still enjoy the moo's even on days like yesterday. OK to be honest I was so cold and in tears yesterday I can now say I can still enjoy them. And if it weren't for the current stress I don't think it would have been so hard. After frozen pipes in the house, wind blowing forever or so it seemed making the windchill -18, and having to look at a house you can't even live in... It was to much.

#1 Never in my life would I have dreamed that at 3AM for the past two night I would be chasing a kitten with nasal problems around a cold house so that I could catch her and put Vick's on her nose so she could breath easier. I have to say... that this is one of my crowning moments. At 18, 19, 0r 20 just just can't even imagine the wonders to come in life. :)

My Point...

2008-12-21T13:37:00.002-06:00

I found this while hopping from one blog to another, then from a site to another site. It makes my point perfectly!

Luke 2

2008-12-21T08:26:00.002-06:00

Christmas #2

Luke 2 Amplified version , Luke 2 (21st Century King James Version) , or Luke 2 (New Living Translation) . I can't decide which I like the best. The Amplified version seems to "pop", the KJV is a comfort, and the NLT is a little more on the modern side.

Does anyone have a favorite version of the Christmas Story? Or does it really matter?

One of my grandmothers cousins said in her yearly Christmas Letter "As Christians we must keep Christ in Christmas. America seems to be moving away from it's Christian roots and we must not let it be taken totally away from us.". It's that the truth! It really bothers me when people especially Christians make it x-mas. Christ is not an X he was a baby who grew up and died to take the worlds sins, the hurt and pain, sickness and disease.

OK I'm really late for chores so I'll have to cut my rant short. MERRY CHRISTMAS for the second day.

Merry Christmas #1

2008-12-20T15:40:00.003-06:00

I'm starting my Christmas week early. :)

You might have noticed the new look on the ye ole blog. You had to know that I couldn't leave things alone for to much longer. After all I like change. GOOD change that is.

Seeing the Sun

2008-12-19T14:35:00.003-06:00

It's been a first for a while now. Sunshine! Blues skies! Less like able wind, rain, and the forecast for Sunday and Monday. Is there anyone willing to take in 100 some odd head of Jerseys, 30 chickens, 1 horse, 4 dogs, several cats we like, and the humans that go with them? In the south??? Where warmth abounds? :) I'm tired of winter and it's not even really started. Note: Yes I know it's a picture of the moon... I don't have one of the sun or a sunrise... I just don't to mornings. Early mornings that is. Besides this is one of the better shots I've taken of the moon.

For some reason this year the cold seems worse. Maybe we'll have a mild January if we are getting it's getting it nastiness out now. We can only hope.

Well it's 6 days until Christmas. It's hard to believe. I've not really even started shopping. Not that we are really in the mood this year to exchange gifts. We are yet we aren't. If that makes sense. I know there has to be some reason for what we are having to go thru. It would be nice though to understand it.

2008-12-17T13:38:00.002-06:00

Holstein Holding Milk Can...

Winne under the tree...

Squirrel...

Finished product... sort of... I had my 75-300 lens on and with out going clear to China to stand back enough to get the shot, this it what I have. :)

There are glass icicles all over the tree. Some a vintage handcrafted from Germany. I bought them from a dear friend who is no longer here. Every time I seem them I think of her, smile, remember... and although I know she is in heaven... I still miss her.